My problem with the Tea Party
Ok, this cheeses me off. A rant must be had.
The Tea Party is a bunch of shit. It really is. They claim to care only about removing the government, lowering taxes, and letting the market fend for itself, but a quick glance at their official website clearly shows that isn't the case. The core values, according to their website, are "Fiscal Responsibility, Constitutionally Limited Government, and Free Markets," which are all fine. I agree with all three of those (to a degree). However, a quick glance at their blog section, and it's abundantly clear, they have an agenda that stretches far from those three items.
For example, there is an article linked entitled "The Homosexual Agenda Could [sic] Care Less About Marriage." Herein lies the problem. Social mommy-coddling is not stated in the core values. Tea Partiers claim not to be bigots, yet they put a bigoted story on the website. Your website represents you as a whole - not individuals. So by putting a story that says, and I quote, "Homosexual activists are attempting to forcibly impose their views of morality and decency, and their definition of marriage, on American society. They want to foist their behavior on society, to have the homosexual lifestyle acknowledged and accepted as legitimate," it clearly shows that the tea party at least agrees with this line. This goes well beyond the scope of fiscal responsibility, limited government, and free markets, folks.
I understand that many of your members are conservative. I understand many of your members are Christian. Both of those are fine, but don't claim that your movement is there only to ensure a small government that spends wisely, in a market that monitors itself, when you are trying to push religious stances on the law. Believe what you want. Believe in the tea party's core values. Stay within the bounds if you want the 'movement' to seem credible. Do not hide behind the pretense of political correctness ("oh, we're not racist, we like social equality, etc") just to garner votes. Say what you mean, mean what you say. That goes for any party, but for a radical group, it means much more.
They also claim that they can know the original intent of the Constitution, which is the same problem I have with holy texts. You can't. You just can't. The people that wrote it are dead, and you have no idea what they were thinking. You can INTERPRET, but that is not the same as knowing. And by holding the Constitution (in their eyes, not a living document, but rather a hard law) as the highest letter of the land, it just so happens that the first line of the Bill of Rights says "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion," so by placing a story on the website that states "some may be shocked to discover that religion and morality motivates traditional marriage. However, it is clear that religion and Judeo-Christian morality were explicitly and justifiably responsible for most of our laws, customs and social definitions, including those related to marriage," it's more than just a little hypocritical. We don't need that. Your party doesn't need that.
Incidentally, in the news lately, we've heard talk of stopping citizenship to babies born to illegals in the country, despite the Constitution, via 14th amendment, stating quite clearly that they are. The tea party (among others) holds the Constitution to be indivisible.... except where they think it's wrong. Wait, what?
Conservatives and Tea Partiers are an entirely exclusive group. If you don't think like us, you are wrong, and we'll make laws to ensure that our views, and our views alone are enshrined, seems to be the cry. The same can be said for the liberals, sure. If you don't think like us, you are wrong, and we'll make laws to ensure that our views, and our views alone are enshrined, seems to be the cry. However, the difference is that the liberal view is INclusive. The liberal view is that everyone should have the same rights. Everyone should have the same opportunity. Rather than shutting your group out of the system, it's an open door. Naturally, extremism on both sides only ends in failure, so the solution lies somewhere in between, but which viewpoint is the better, more noble one? The one that says "I'm, sorry, you don't think or act like me, therefore you cannot have the same opportunities as me," or the one that says "You don't think or act like me, but have a go at it anyway." It's a thin line that is tread, but one that seems so obvious to me that it leaves me trembling and speechless that it even crosses the mind to think unequivocally "no" rather than "why not?"
Some say 'think before you speak.' How about 'think before you stomp on other people'?
Dear average consumer,
I am writing this open letter today to all consumers out there, fresh-out right up to senior-level experienced shoppers. Please, please, please, please, PLEASE do some research before heading to the shops. Nothing pains me more than to see seemingly innocent folk be sold things they just don't need, while the schmuck behind the counter smiles a beaming smile, and sprays the air around them with the scent of roses to make that extra bit of commission.
Let's start with mortal consumer sin number one. It's actually a phrase, an utterance, an innocent little ejaculation of the mouth that sets things in motion from whence the naive shopper cannot return - the phrase "Which one of these is the best?"
Instantly, the store manager, no matter how far away from the shop he actually is, perks up, ears and hair standing on end. They are about to cash in. Big time. This is especially true of expensive bits of technology: cars, cameras, computers, copy-machines... those are only the Cs, should we go on to Ds? You get the idea. The purpose of a salesman is to retain some rudimentary data on their inventory, but really, it's to cash in that sale, and collect the commission. Naturally, the more expensive the item, the more cash you put in their pocket, and thereby relieving YOUR pocket by an equivalent amount. Therefore, it behooves you to know at least something about what it is you'll be purchasing. This is 2009, people, there's little to no reason you can't find out something about anything about what it is you're after, or else you likely won't even realize you want it.
Some industries are worse than others, but at the camera shop the other day, a youngish couple asked shopper sin question one while also revealing that they don't know anything about photography, but want a camera that is faster than what they used to have. Bam. The salesman brought out all manner of digital SLR, ranging from $500 to $2000. "Oh, you'll definitely want to look at one of these, then. You'll find that they are plenty fast!" Enter amazement and wonder into the minds of the shoppers. Nevermind that they would have to buy lenses for the damned thing because, oh, the kit lens only goes from 18mm to 55mm and you won't be able to get that bird in the backyard you were so easily getting with your point and shoot. Well, damn it to Hades, I'm already getting all riled up just thinking about it. Look it up, people!
We have such great do-it-yourself resources these days at our fingertips. Wikipedia, as infinitely editable as it is, is at least a good starting point if you know absolutely nothing about what it is you want. Then, there's that "Google" phenomenon I hear all the young people talking about. Apparently, you can "Google" things, and poof, pages upon pages of reviews, and specifications, and prices are all listed. You don't even need to be tech savvy anymore to do a search. Most browsers now have a built in search form. Likely to the upper right corner.
Second, and this again mostly applies to the more expensive pieces of technology - Try it before you buy it.
Sometimes you can get away with buying something sight unseen (hopefully you read a number of good reviews from searching for it on the Internets, thereby having at least some information to base your purchase), but more often than not, you'll want to play around with it to make sure you'll actually like it. Sure, you may not learn much in the first 20 minutes, but first impressions are good, and if you hate it upon picking it up, you've just saved yourself some cash! Hurrah.
Finally, for goodness sakes, resist the upsell.
As mentioned earlier, the salesman is there to make his living. Sometimes you'll get a good one who might give you all the information you ask for, but in the end, they need to make their quota. And remember, remember that there is always something better than what you need, and something shinier, with more bells and 14 different types of whistle. If you don't look into it before stepping foot in the door, it all sounds wonderful... if you really want it, by all means get it, but if you don't have the slightest clue what any of the bells and whistles do, chances are you probably aren't going to use it, or it's going to confuse you into not wanting to use it after you've purchased it.
Sigh. I felt bad for those two, but at the same time, I feel nothing but cold remorse. They should have known better. They should have looked into it.
I think that's my key to shopping. I do two types. My window shopping consists of me going through shops when bored with no intention of buying anything. Surprisingly, this works pretty much every time. I'm great at window shopping and leaving empty handed. The other type is when I write down, mentally or physically, exactly what it all is that I need and I go out and get exactly those things. The side effect is that I often forget to write down everything I need for groceries, so do without some vital ingredients for whatever it is I wanted to make, but for more expensive objet d'arts, it works great.
So to you, I beg of thee to do a bit of research, take a few notes before stepping foot in the showroom so that you know how to deal with, and how to identify a salesperson feeding you good and bad information. Catching them in a lie is most satisfying.
Much love,
George
To be or not to be
I fear I have a bit of a gorilla on my back that has been festering for a while. By the end of this, I will have felt that I didn't need to, nor do I ever, need to explain myself to anyone, but it is what it is. Furthermore, due to the medium through which I am passing this information on, it is subject to a bit of hyperbole and thus open to misinterpretation. These are the risks we run using and abusing the Interwebs, and there they shall always be.
It has to do with the tiresome, tedious, untrue assertion, and it is an assertion, that oh-ho-ho I 'want to be British.'
I've heard this from friends and family, and it's just plain tedious and tiresomely wrong. Let us first draw a fat line between liking something, and wanting to be something. They are two entirely separate notions. In the most basic of instances, I can assert that I like, nay love, sushi. However, I do not, and I can say I've never wanted to be sushi. While it is very much true that I enjoy many aspects of the English culture, I can say exactly the same thing about aspects of the Japanese culture, the West Coast culture, the East coast culture, etc. I'm fascinated by them all. Before anyone pulls out the worst type of fallacy, I'll go ahead and say that this does not also mean I dislike 'my' culture. That of middle-class, middle-income North Texan. We love that which we are not. The grass is greener on the other side. Insert any number of other clichés.
Perhaps you, fair reader, do not find pleasure in the lives of others, and that's ok, but don't smear your short-sightedness on me because I find pleasure in strange, exotic cultures. I sometimes mention that I happen to like something not particular popular, and am immediately told I am 'weird' or that it's 'not normal.' Well, fuck off. You can stick to your reality television, and your brand-name backpacks, or whatever else it is that everyone and their mother-in-laws finds 'normal.' You can have it all. But don't go off calling people strange because they happen to not like it. I've digressed.
The point is, I find it important to integrate the best of what is available from anywhere into my life to make it better. We have it pretty nice in the old USofA, but it would be hard-pressed to say there is nothing about this life, this culture, worth changing. In fact, there are aspects of American life in which I can truthfully say I do not like, but that in no way makes me less American. We have a whole world's population to look at to find the best qualities, and make our own to make what we find enjoyable more enjoyable. How is this in any way wrong, or misguided, or foolish? It isn't. However, I do find it foolish for someone to live life ONLY as they have known it, without picking from the hors d'œuvres plate of knowledge, culture, and language. We have choices in this world. We are all conservative at heart, but we would be missing out on a lot of the little things if we never got out once in a while.
Yes, it is absolutely true that most of my favorite television comedies, dramas, and documentaries are English. However, only a dim-witted chimp would surmise that I like them because the shows are British, and not because of the quality of acting, writing or wit. The fact is, the rebel in me does want me to at least TRY things that are unpopular. This is exposure that would otherwise never happen if I only stuck to things that are talked about ad nauseum on tv, radio, and print. It's the undiscovered artist phenomenon, isn't it. Little-known musical artist plays for years and years in little venues, without anyone batting an eye because they're too busy with the Britney Spears and the Black Eyed Peas. The tiny fan base knows that everyone else is missing out on something special, yet they are still excoriated for not spending their time listening to the big hits. In this same way, I've discovered the true and honest joys of Ice Hockey, of Cricket, of darts, of Wagner, amongst many other things. None of those listed even makes up 10% of the population of my demographic, but I don't care. That doesn't bother me one bit.
My love of cricket, darts, Fry and Laurie, MINI, Lotus, Aston Martin, football (that is to say, soccer, in Americanese) songs but not football itself, no more makes me want to BE British than my love for clam chowder and the Red Sox (at least over the Yankees) makes me want to be Bostonian. It's flawed and frustrating. Why do I know the Canadian national anthem? I don't want to be Canadian. Could it be because I'd like to know it for the sake of knowing it? Hell, I know the Bubbles song they sing at West Ham matches, not because of the Green Street Hooligan movie and not because I've ever been to a game. I know it because I want to know it. This is what it's all about, people. Knowing things for the sake of knowing things. Not because I'll think that one day the information will be useful, but just to have that information. Knowing enough about anything to carry on a conversation is a noble enough goal for anyone, in my opinion.
As I stated at the beginning of the article, there's really no reason I need to defend what I do to anyone. If you don't get it, that's fine, but don't go accusing me of my wanting to be something I'm not when, quite frankly, you have no idea what you're talking about and it's not true anyway. That said, I think I'll watch some more of A Bit of Fry and Laurie while drinking a cup of tea. Tinkerty tonk.
Zu Ehren der Bayreuther Festspiele
In honor of the annual Bayreuth festival in Bayreuth, Germany, I think I'll expound a bit a bit for my love of a certain Richard Wagner - or more accurately, his music. It's popular to dislike the man, and by extension, his music, because his ideals are now considered pretty dreadful. Of course we can't condone his anti-semitism, and of course we can't condone his natio-socialist tendencies, but this is all in hindsight, and that was a different age. Only a twazzock would hold that against his work and automatically write it off as bad or unworthy without so much as a listen.
On a tangent, the Bayreuth Festival is held every year in the aforementioned town, at the Festspielhaus designed by Wagner specifically for the acoustics required by his work. It was a pretty revolutionary design from the regular opera houses of the time in that it doesn't have as many of the very glamorous box suites along the sides, and the bulk of the seats are crammed, stadium-style directly in front of the orchestra pit and stage.
I first heard the Overture to Tannhäuser in English class in 10th grade (odd place to hear it now that I think about it). I remember Jamie Pilukaitus brought it in after we had read some short story or other about an old lady who attended an opera. I had, of course, grown up with classical music, but up to that point in time, it was more just something my parents had forced upon me, and I didn't really think much of it as anything substantial. Hearing that song changed my perspective on the stuff forever. Like falling in love, or the clichéd bolt of lightning. It is THE most capturing piece of music I have ever heard, of any genre, of any generation, of any generalization. It encompasses everything that is mankind to me.
Since that moment in my sophomore year, however, Wagner's music sat back in the deep recesses of my mind. Years passed. After all, "opera" was for old-people, and the singing? I couldn't be bothered with that, of course not. I'm too cool for that. It's all about fat ladies in horned helmets, and grandiose, decadent set productions.
It's unpopular.
Ho-ho. How I was wrong. Either that, or I got old. I started listening to the actual operas (as opposed to just the overtures and preludes that litter the CD world), and I saw what it was all about. Thankfully, I'm learning (earlier rather than later) that just because things are unpopular or easy to despise, things can be very, very good. After all, I like cricket, small cars, efficiency, and constant, technological progress. As for the actual concept of the opera, I really couldn't care less about the actual productions. The costumes, the sets, the acting don't really appeal to me. I see why it's there, but that's not the reason I have any interest in the stuff. It is far and away about the music. The stories are good to know so you have some idea about what the characters are on about, but to me the story takes a far back seat to the sheer musicality of it. I'm not a religious man, but the Pilgrim's Chorus (Begluckt darf nun dich), from Tannhäuser, is amazing not in its message, but the music, and the way it sounds when the choir sings it. It rises and falls and does everything naughty that music can do.
And, boy, is it naughty.
Some people have drink, others have drugs. I have Birgit Nilsson's Liebestod from Tristan und Isolde. You will find no shame or regret in me that I prefer it to a night, dropping $50 on drinks. I have no doubt that that sort of evening is fun, and I do find myself at places, but I go for good conversation and good laughs. Hopefully I haven't given the impression that I am anti-drinking, because I'm not. Really, I'm not, but it's not for me.
I do hope that Wagner's music lives on through the ages, it really does deserve it. A beautiful fruit from an ugly tree.
I am not of this age
I was talking to a friend on iChat today, and somehow the topic shifted to "the only good news is bad news," in re: the economy, society, and the general state of things. I came to the conclusion that we are living a great, albeit infamous, historical event, like The Great Depression, only with crappy music. Later in the day, I asked on Facebook if you could be reborn in any year/era, what would it be? There is a great case for living in the now, and being 25 in the year 2009, as everything that happens around us technologically is the summation of human history, i.e. we are at constantly at the peak of whatever we are endeavoring. I think that's great, but I never feel like I belong to that in my head. It's a gross generalization, but I'm not a fan of the culture that we have moved into, where the television is swathed in shit reality shows like ABC's "Dating in the Dark," or "Dancing with the Stars," or "America's Got Idols" or whatever else is on there, and the generically produced teeny-bopper music that is churned out 24/7 on the radio to make a quick buck. I dislike it. I dislike it all. I am not of this age.
What I do like, and wish I could have seen and experienced is the war life of 1914. I choose that year because it coincides with the start of the Great War. Well, I don't know. Maybe I would have wished to be a kid as that happened, so maybe 1908? For the sake of cultural absorption, I will continue with being born in the United States, of an ambiguous race (yes, there were issues with "Orientals" in the states, so we'll set those aside in our little hypothetical). I love the music, the style of dress (Barney Stinson would be SO proud of how many people suit up just to walk down the street of a big city. I hear the waistcoat is making a comeback), the fiendish optimism that permeates the air as the world is plunged into a war of real purpose, against something tangible rather than intangible. The prospect of close family members going off to do something bigger than themselves. To have seen and experienced the roaring, decadent '20s, where again the music reigns and rains from the skies.
Then to be plunged into the Great Depression, something in scale that we may be seeing today, but with a culture not knowing what to expect from financial strife. I have heard what separates the United States to Europe is our endearing optimism of "yes, let's try it. What's the worst that could happen?" and "if we fail, we'll try, try again." I fear we may have lost a bit of that today. Today, all we hear is "the government has fucked up, and is in turn screwing over the people they are supposed to protect." There's a great sense of cynicism and downright loathing for what we've gotten ourselves into. We have lost our innocence, and that's a great shame. But to go back in history, to the turmoil and financial stress and to think that we can do better and dig ourselves out, I think, is the great pull to the time that I so love.
This is also the domain of the late, great Pelham Grenvile Wodehouse. British-cum-American comedic writer extraordinaire. The language that is used in this age, evidenced by his writing from that era, is also what appeals to me. It all seems less serious, and the jargon of the time far less grating to the ears as the more modern, valley-girl "like, you know, whatever," or the question intonation that is so common where every sentence sounds like it's a question? I went the store, and they didn't have what I was looking for? I DON'T KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME INSTEAD OF ASK ME. It drives me batty. Instead, they have phrases as "what ho?" and the odd references to aunts as "you old flesh and blood." I'm sure much of it is pure Wodehouseian, but he must have picked it up from somewhere, too.
Of course, there are downsides, there always are.
Social conservatism of the most appalling kind, where minority groups were pigeon-holed into set occupations and roles, were commonplace, and it's good to have seen that change over time, but again, it's to have been able to live through that change that is so exciting. Those aside, I still think this WW1 era life would have been just so satisfying in a retrospective way. But why focus on the bad, when there's ceaseless optimism to be had?
Let's say we had a time machine. Let's say we had the opportunity to go in one direction only, where you could go to your favorite time, but you would have no recollection of now, and there would be no trace of modern technology (note that you can only go BACK to a favorite time. Obviously, we don't know what happens in the future, so there's no going forward), would you do it? Could I live without my broadband internet, color television for 40 years, my beloved iPhone? It's tough to say. Sometimes, like this particular weekend, it would be an easy and resounding yes. No doubt. Other times, I can sit back and marvel at what people have achieved, and to be of an age that can fully enjoy it; that's what makes the decision tough. Is it better to be able to look back and enjoy it? Or to live it currently? Certainly, this argument could be made 50 years from now as we look back at 2009, where the music and television is awful. Of course, the music of 2059 could be exponentially worse as well, we can't rule that out in our extrapolation of goodness and badness of evolutionary taste.
In the end, I think I would go back, if only to capture the enthusiasm and optimism of the little train that could. Really, we don't have time, and we shouldn't expend the energy to think "god, what a dump we're living in, and how crap our lives are being driven by The Man." Instead, we should think, "wow, we're living history, let's make the most of it, for better or for worse."
Excerpt from “It’s a Lonely Planet Out there”

LOLWTFBBQ!
An interesting, short read about the new world of connectedness via the Internet everywhere.
Original can be found here: http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/its-a-lonely-planet-out-there--get-used-to-it-20090703-d7re.html?page=-1
The worker who sleeps with BlackBerry within touching distance, the girl sitting alone in the cafe but texting furiously while waiting for a friend, the woman on the bus on her mobile telling a friend that the test was negative for chlamydia, the solo traveller who Skypes home most nights from the hostel in Borneo, and the TV personality who tells you via Twitter that right now he is running a bath.
These are all symptoms of the death of our ability to be alone.
"Because of technology, we never have to be alone anymore. And that's the problem," wrote Neil Swidey in The Boston Globe. "It is dulling our very capacity to ever be alone, or alone in our thoughts."
Curiously, more of us are living alone, yet we have never been more connected. This constant connection takes the sting out of the true aloneness that would usually accompany important life moves: backpacking alone, living alone, or working alone.
Now the backpacker has mobile internet USB plugs, mobile phones (changing SIM cards for each country), Skype, instant messaging and social networking sites. Not so long ago, contact was maintained through post restante - where letters awaited with their lag of weeks or months.
Yet from the loneliness of the road, from living alone or working in isolation can come some deep riches.
Feeling cut off can lead to a feeling of freedom. It can open the traveller to the chance encounter, and the random connection that is all the more sweet for being so craved.
Often it is living alone, even for a short time, that allows you to become comfortable with yourself, your own bad habits, your own voice prattling in your head.
Working alone is essential for some professions, such as the writer, the philosopher, the monk. The good book, the original ideas, the prayers don't happen while you are signed in to Google chat.
Yet sign in we do. And to so many things at once, to be sure we are never alone. If no one is chatting to us on Skype, someone might be on Facebook, or somewhere else.
We are not just relinquishing our alone time, but we are gleefully sacrificing it, and doing so for multiple data streams, and even so our employer can contact us around the clock. Is the 11pm call from the boss better than nothing, silence, being disconnected - and perhaps missing out?
The sociologist Richard Sennett believed that "in a dynamic society passive people wither".
Being alone and unplugged raises the spectre of withering, of reducing your impact on the world. Pico Iyer recently wrote in The New York Times of how he spends most of his time alone with his thoughts in a two-room apartment in Kyoto, unable to communicate with most people around him: he doesn't speak Japanese.
Reader comments were divided between those who thought his life boring, and others who envied his ability to switch off (Iyer has no email or mobile phone; he writes letters).
I see a future where those who choose to go it alone - pre-net style alone, letter-writing alone - are viewed almost as mystics. We will wonder how they do it, and why they do it, and if we want to follow their lead, we will have to relearn the old ways of being alone.
A little while back, I went to a Buddhist retreat. It was jam-packed with under-35s learning how to meditate. The instructor, Maitreyabandhu, told me the people who went to the centre were often in stressful jobs. They unwound at the pub, or on the internet at home.
But unwinding in front of our laptops does not allow for true peace, he said. Rather, it acts as a distancing or distracting mechanism that keeps us stimulated, but gives us no depth.
"We can become alienated from our more subtle emotions. We are alienated from our bodies. There is a real need to get in contact with something alive. We easily get stuck on the surfaces of ourselves. In the West, we forget the mind has depths. There are depths of the mind that are really satisfying and profound."
For some, perhaps. For the rest of us, satisfying and profound are not particularly attractive. As technology creeps from our working lives into every aspect of our entire waking lives, so does the creeping anxiety of missing out, of not being in the loop.
This type of social anxiety trumps the much harder - but ultimately, more rewarding - slog of being alone. We will always need to learn to be alone - for when we grow old (hopefully), and our friends die (inevitably), and there will be fewer people to text when we are waiting for the bus.
One day there will come a time when we will have to get used to ourselves, and ourselves alone.
Excerpt from “Getting Overheated”

Sunset over Lake Travis
The following is a most wonderfully written opinion piece relating to the recent legislation that has made it through the House of Representatives, and on to the Senate. I whole-heartedly agree (my luvvie man-crush aside, honest) with the arguments made regarding the three types of people and the resulting outcomes, but couldn't POSSIBLY flesh it out in writing as well as it is written here. I read this when it was written those two years ago and agreed with it then as I agree with it now - not as some left-wing nutjob (I consider myself middle-left, but that's neither here nor there), but just as someone who thinks that there is something that can, and should for the future's sake, be done to limit our detrimental contributions to this world. Whether it's through the steps we are taking through legislation, or something entirely different down the road. Doing our best to do our best is all we can ask. Enjoy.
Getting Overheated
We must begin with a few round truths about myself: when I get into a debate I can get very, very hot under the collar, very impassioned, and I dare say, very maddening, for once the light of battle is in my eye I find it almost impossible to let go and calm down. I like to think I’m never vituperative or too ad hominem but I do know that I fall on ideas as hungry wolves fall on strayed lambs and the result isn’t always pretty. This is especially dangerous in America. I was warned many, many years ago by the great Jonathan Lynn, co-creator of Yes Minister and director of the comic masterpiece My Cousin Vinnie, that Americans are not raised in a tradition of debate and that the adversarial ferocity common around a dinner table in Britain is more or less unheard of in America. When Jonathan first went to live in LA he couldn’t understand the terrible silences that would fall when he trashed an statement he disagreed with and said something like “yes, but that’s just arrant nonsense, isn’t it? It doesn’t make sense. It’s self-contradictory.” To a Briton pointing out that something is nonsense, rubbish, tosh or logically impossible in its own terms is not an attack on the person saying it – it’s often no more than a salvo in what one hopes might become an enjoyable intellectual tussle. Jonathan soon found that most Americans responded with offence, hurt or anger to this order of cut and thrust. Yes, one hesitates ever to make generalizations, but let’s be honest the cultures are different, if they weren’t how much poorer the world would be and Americans really don’t seem to be very good at or very used to the idea of a good no-holds barred verbal scrap. I’m not talking about inter-family ‘discussions’ here, I don’t doubt that within American families and amongst close friends, all kinds of liveliness and hoo-hah is possible, I’m talking about what for good or ill one might as well call dinner-party conversation. Disagreement and energetic debate appears to leave a loud smell in the air.
Certainly my experience of the other night bears out Jonathan’s experience and I’ve been punching myself very hard on the inside ever since for committing the crime of allowing myself to get too heated. On the other hand the argument was an important one. For another difference we have to face between our cultures is that the average position on global warming in Britain seems to be: ‘It exists, we humans are causing it, we’d better do something about it’, whereas the average position in America might be interpreted as, ‘I’m not convinced and anyway America certainly shouldn’t sign up to do anything about it if China doesn’t.’
It started amicably enough. We had been filming all day with Jim who had been kind and hospitable. He had suggested the restaurant and fine it was too. So there’s Jim, four Britons and one Bosnian in the crew plus our two American driver/fixers. And there’s me. Or I, if you prefer.
For some reason the conversation came round to the environment and Jim started laying into Al Gore. He described him as “a piece of shit” and “a hypocrite”. Well, I have no particular reason to worship the man. He has won both an Oscar and a Nobel Prize, but that doesn’t necessarily prove him a saint, prophet or hero. Nonetheless, piece of shit and hypocrite struck me (and the rest of the table, but I was the one, as usual, who somehow became the mouthy mouthpiece) as a bit much. It turned out Al Gore should be regarded as a hypocrite on two counts. Firstly because much of his family fortune came from coal and secondly because ‘he goes from place to place in a jet’ which is apparently not consonant with his self-appointed duty of warning the world about the environment.We can dismiss this attack on Al Gore fairly easily I should have thought. The fact that his family made money out of coal seems about as irrelevant to his own moral worth as you can get. Would Himmler’s grandson be a hypocrite for not wanting to wipe out the Jews? Preposterous. All of us who have European blood in us will have ancestors who made money from, or whose lives were made infinitely easier by, slavery. Does that mean we’d be hypocritical to disapprove of it? I am not saying coalmining is a moral equivalent, of course. It could just as easily be that one’s grandfather made his money out of meat-packing: would be it then be hypocritical to be a vegetarian?
Using the jet, though: this one hears more of. So far as I know Al Gore hasn’t gone around saying we should all stop using jets, it seemed to me from his film that his whole argument was that we don’t have to get all medieval and pre-industrial in order to halt the threat of global warming. I appreciate it would be terribly convenient to those who deny the problems he has drawn our attention to if he could be leapt upon for not recycling this, not saving that, for actually using electricity, for shamelessly driving a car etc etc. But even if Al Gore had said that no one should fly around in jets or use electricity, then does it actually mean the world isn’t getting warmer and that we shouldn’t do something about it? I mean it’s perfectly possible that he’s a hypocrite, but how does that alter the central facts? After all, I can say “always be kind, always be responsible, always treat others well” – if I then spent a day being unkind, irresponsible and unpleasant in my treatment of others if might make me something of a Tartuffe but it would not instantly render the ethical standards I had recommended worthless, it would simply mean that I hadn’t lived up to them. So even if Gore is the completest hypocrite, it has no bearing on his claims.
Jim now came to his central argument. “I’m not a scientist. I don’t have the technical knowledge to determine whether this global warming is a real, man made threat or not. Do you?” Well I suppose Jim was accustomed to this argument appearing to be quite a clincher. Obviously very few people he meets are likely to reply that they do have the technical knowledge. What is more Jim could spread his hands wide and claim not to be a ‘global warming denier’ (a phrase that made him very angry indeed. He denounced it as ‘that cliché’, which is not quite what it is, but we’ll let it pass). ‘I’m not saying it doesn’t exist, I’m not saying it does. I’m just saying I don’t know.’
Others around the table interjected with the observation that the vast majority of scientists were united in their views. This he countered with, ‘there are plenty of scientists who say it’s all nonsense’. Well, it’s undignified to go into the game of listing the academic institutions whose leading professors are in the orthodox majority. Besides, in that sense, he is right. I can’t catalogue the scientists on each side of the debate and I am aware that leading deniers have adduced their apparent experts who parry the claims of the mainstream with counterclaims of their own. I don’t think anyone can deny that it is the majority of scientists who believe that global warming a) exists and b) is caused by man’s industrial activity, pollution and energy consumption, but that doesn’t mean they are right. The vast majority of scientists in the first half of the nineteenth century thought disease was spread by smell. They were wrong. So we concede that numbers mean nothing, a thing is true or it is not. And Jim is right. I will never know enough, nor will he, about climatology, oceanography, chemistry, biology, metereology and the dozen other ologies I would need to understand in order to arrive at a wholly confident technical, scientific decision. So can I just, as Jim appears to be able to do, sit back and believe myself logically and morally justified in acting as if global warming and its threat to us is not proven?
It’s a jolly thought. ‘Well, I’d like to able to believe you, but the case isn’t proven. There are plenty of scientists who have quibbles. I can’t pretend to know anything about it myself and the orthodox majority in science has been wrong in the past. So there we have it.’
When I tell you that Jim has a vested interest, a deeply vested interest, in this whole issue, you may think it weakens his argument. It doesn’t of course make any difference that he is a very senior figure in a company that … no, I want to protect his anonymity so I’ll just say that he is in the fossil fuels business. This may explain why he has taken up the argument he has, for the ‘green agenda’ is a potential threat to his livelihood, but again, that doesn’t make his argument logically wrong. In fact nothing makes his argument logically wrong, for he is not making an argument, he is stating a bare fact. He cannot know for himself. The meaning of his stance however is of course that he is, in a transparently faux naïf and disingenuous manner, siding himself with the nay-sayers, and manifestlynot occupying some claimed neutral ground of raised-eyebrow abstention. We’ll come to that now.
What I tried to explain next to Jim was made difficult by the animosity that was building up as a result of the charged nature of this debate. I think Jim was not used to being contradicted, I think he found the European admiration for Al Gore disgusting, and the whole British liberal attitude to the environment little short of socialistic, anaemic, pansy and pretentious. All the usual problems red-blooded Americans of his stamp have with Britons, in fact. And I have no doubt my tone, my voice, my vocabulary, my whole demeanour, affect and style contributed to this feeling and compounded it. And I too was upset and angry at his dismissive, illogical, contemptuous tone.
I am not proud that I was unable to have a less strident and, ultimately, mutually intolerant discussion. But there. I am not here to abase myself before you, nor unfairly to trash an opponent as it were behind his back. The subject is too important for any of those considerations to weigh with us.
We’ll come back to Jim later. I feel a bit of a heel or dragging him into the blessay at all, which could stand alone as my feeble contribution to the global warming debate, but I think it’s worth framing it anecdotally as I have, partly because most of us have found ourselves in some similar kind of impassioned debate and partly because it speaks to a particular cultural difference between Britain and America, which, as I say, is a topic I’ve been asked to think about in my blogging.
So we’re down to this thought. One is free to make the entirely valid observation that one cannot know for certain whether the scientific doom-saying on the subject of the planet, its rising temperature and the dire climactic and other consequences is true. One is free to observe that in the past scientists have been wrong. One is free to observe inconsistencies, evasions, exaggerations and discrepancies in the supposed ‘one-voice’ clarion cry emanating from the scientific community, environmental journalists, the green movement, the carbon off-set industry and others. In other words one is free to do nothing.
Ye-es but … you see the one overwhelming fact about the great climate debate is what’s at stake. Not scientific reputation, not the fortunes and comforts of capitalists and their populations, not pride or reputation but our very civilization.
So let’s break it broadly down to three responses to such a cataclysmic prophecy of doom.
There is Response A. Type A believes the preponderance of established scientific evidence. Whether Type A believes it because they are equipped to do so, or whether they believe it because they are gullible, or whether they believe it because they are stupud, or whether they choose to/pretend to believe it because they are anti-progress, anti-capitalist, anti-global economy, communist, hippy or anarchist is neither here nor there. They believe or profess to believe that there is a pressing threat to the continuation of human life on this planet such as we have known it since the earliest civilizations began to build harbours and ports on the edges of the land. It’s a big deal.
Then there is Type B. Type Bs do not believe this. They think the evidence is wrong, misinterpreted, flawed, misrepresented, unconvincing, not to be acted upon. Type A will call Type Bs “deniers” which irritates them with that suggestion of holocaust denial, not to mention its accompaniment of that special whiff of sanctimonious self-righteous and political correctness that many Bs observe will always hang about your classic Type A. Type B believes the evidence is either manufactured, ignored or slanted. They believe that the whole eco industry and the thousands of academic departments which have sprung up have a vested interest in those alarm bells. They think it’s political correctness, a new orthodoxy, liberal, bossy and dishonest.
Finally there is Type C, the category into which Jim falls. Type C says: “I cannot possibly know. I hear this from one side and that from another. Both seem convinced, both seem to be marshalling impressive technical figures to their side. I cannot make a judgment.”
Obviously there are views that shade between the three categories but in essence you either believe, deny or sit on the fence.
The consequence of these responses runs something like this: A, the believer, will, or at least should, attempt to do something about the threat they believe in: I mean, look what’s at stake, how can they not? In his or her small way they should support green initiatives through the ballot box, attempt to leave less of a carbon footprint in their personal lives, make environmental restitution for jet travel and other apparently deleterious activities through carbon offset schemes and the like. All very baffling, bewildering, embarrassing, inadequate, shambling, liberal and possibly useless no doubt, but the planet’s in danger so surely, (wringing of hands) we should try? By planet, I mean planet-as-we-know-it, of course. It is obvious that the good old earth will carry on a-spinning whatever happens to its ozone layer and climate systems.
B meanwhile will carry on as if nothing is different, for as far as he is concerned, nothing is. Bs only wish they could survive long enough to see the smug self-righteous sorrowful smile wiped from A’s face when in a hundred years it is made plain that there never was any great threat to the climate, to the environment or the ecosystem and that at worst it was a conspiracy of anti-capitalists and at best a muddled, credulous screw up.
And C? The Jims of this world? Well they, of course, are functionally exactly the same as B. They do not know. Case isn’t proven, so why should they vote for massive changes to the way the world does business, massive alterations to the convenience and pleasures of our way of life, just on a 50/50 hunch?
Ah, but that’s the point. It’s what’s at stake that matters in a bet like this.
If B is wrong and there really is a threat of the kind A claims, then not doing anything about it will destroy human habitations, make extinct many species, and fundamentally alter our habitats around the planet.
But if A is wrong and actually there is no threat, then acting as if there was will have what consequences? It will have saved fuel bills all over the world, reduced noxious emissions which, even if one doesn’t believe in global warming, are unpleasant pollutants in anyone’s reckoning, and slowed down the day when we find that the fossil fuels have run out. Action would have given us more time to find alternatives. To be fair, it will also have slowed down world growth and inconvenienced all of us in our personal lives and if A Types do turn to have been wrong they may well owe the world an apology and it’ll be red faces (and a brake in the inexorable rise in world economic growth and fuel mineral use) all round.
But surely that’s a small price to pay for backing a losing horse when the stakes are the planet itself?
Doing nothing risks everything and gains comparatively little, doing something risks comparatively little and gains the whole world. Surely you’d have to be an idiot not to back the believers in this instance.
I’ll restate it once more just to be clear.
For the eco-believer it’s no-lose situation: we all survive if they’re right and we’ve acted on their belief, we survive if they’re wrong and we’ve acted on their belief. Whereas for the eco-denier we survive if they’re right and we’ve done nothing but we perish if they’re wrong and we’ve done nothing.
Some of you may be thinking this is just a reiteration of Pascal’s Wager. Better to back the existence of God, the 17th century French mathematician and philosopher argued, because if you’re wrong it wouldn’t matter, for after death there’d be oblivion, while if you were right there would be a great reward. Being atheist on the other hand risks eternal damnation. The smart money’s on taking a chance on God. You can’t lose, it’s either oblivion or paradise. For the atheist, it’s either oblivion or lakes of fire in perpetuity.
So is my suggestion, no more than a restatement of that frankly silly ‘reason’ for believing in God?
Well. Pascal’s Wager is silly because, arch rationalist as he was, he is not giving a reason for belief in God, he is giving a reason for behaving as if God exists, a motive for believing in God, if you like. Which is all very well, but if God is all that he is cracked up to be he would see through such slippery self-interest and condemn you to those lakes of fire anyway. God is not asking, or certainly wasn’t in Pascal’s day, for man to follow an ethical code, no religion I know has ever suggested such a thing (although they might argue ethical codes follow upon religious obervance – but that’s a whole other can of worms for another day) God was asking for obedience, belief praise, thanks and observance. He has never offered in Christianity, Judaism or Islam, so far as I can tell, to reward those who merely punt on the side of his existence. For that reason, aside from its greasy moral turpitude, Pascal’s Wager sucks.
Does my wager fall at the same fence? Well I don’t think so, for a motive to behave as if the global warming prognostications were true does not offend some God of Global Warming who will only make the earth safer if full and proper belief is proffered. Not does it skip round some holy motive for behaving greenly. No environmentalist will care whether someone does their best because they are a true believer or because they are hedging their bets. The wager here is fair and good.
So, I suppose I am saying this.
Those who believe, the A types, should take action on global warming. B types, who don’t believe, are free not to though they wouldn’t lose out by taking action, except in small ways which, placed in the scales against the potential losses … well, I’ve made that point. But C types. Types like Jim who sit on the fence and claim not to know enough, they surely are the ones for whom the wager makes the most sense. “I don’t know the science, but I do know that the smart money is on taking action.” That’s all they have to realize. So, far from justifying inaction, not being sure overwhelmingly justifies action.
Or so it seems to me, and so I tried to express the other night around a table. I might as well have saved my breath. It got all very unpleasant. “Are you calling me a liar?” was the response to my suggestion that claiming neutrality was a dishonest argument because it automatically sided Jim with the deniers. “I mean the argument is dishonest!” “You’re calling me a liar!” When I proffered self-deception over dishonesty it hardly helped.
Two things we must agree on. One is the feeble stupidity of searching gleefully for signs of hypocrisy in those who believe the world is getting warmer. You’d be as well to search for it in Christians, those worried about poverty or anyone else who professes to an ideal. The other, from the believers themselves, is the foolishness of building a climate of inquisition in which the purity of everyone’s environmental credentials is tested and exposed. If you create an atmosphere in which driving a car, going on holiday, leaving a light turned on or failing to recycle a bottle is accounted a crime, a failing, a weakness, something to be loudly condemned, then you will lose the earth, for no self-respecting human being is going to be recruited to a cause whose spokesmen are as self-righteous religious zealots, making impossible demands all at once on fallible human beings.
I suppose I must claim self-interest here. I do think it sensible for us all to respond to the theory of man made global warming and its potentially disastrous impact on the planet as if it were true. But I am also a useless bag of shit, or human being. I will therefore be seen from time to time in a car which isn’t an economical planet-pleaser. I will leave lights on. I will forget to recycle. I will travel. I have paid money to carbon trusts who promise to offset the damage my carbon footprint causes, but apparently (according to some at least) this isn’t the way forward. It’s all very hard and I’m not even sure that I can claim that I do my best. But I am doing my best to do my best. If that sounds weaselly and flabby and cowardly, that’s because it is. But I suspect that’s how most of us who believe in the threat of global warming are: will we have the courage to vote for a political dispensation that will force through what needs to be forced through and enact what needs to be enacted? I don’t know. But I do know that we need more heated arguments around dinner tables and less self-delusion and evasion. Act for the worst and hope for the best. In some ways I am sorry I seemed to make an enemy, on the other I am glad to have had the fierce evening with him. Fierce overheated evenings are needed at evening meals all over the world.
This blessay turns out to have been complicated, repetitive and rather laboriously expressed. I’m sorry for that, and if I had more time I’d go back and smooth it out. Heigh ho.
© Stephen Fry 2007
Recession or: How I’ve dealt with embracing the bomb
Not since the late 1920s have the terms 'recession' and 'depression' been written, talked, and paraded about when it has come to money, the economy, and all the little green bits that make our society work. We live in a world that quite relies on the stuff to keep things going from the most spectacular and complex missions to Mars, to the mundane activity of keeping a house free from dust and bugs. Money is everywhere. I've mentioned before, outside of this fresh and gleaming website, just how much I hate it. I hate having to work for it (mind you, not to be mistaken with hating to work, which I don't), I hate having to save it as if it were more important than things like friendliness, compassion, or understanding, and I hate how it's become an idol that is worshipped nearly as much as Jesus Christ, the Ayatollah, or Elvis Presley. It is simply ridiculous. For me, it has always been an inconvenience, no doubt compounded by my inability, and lack of caring, to manage it. It's always just something there, something I could use here and there. I mean, I've earned it, surely; I went to school, got into a profession I thought was reasonably fulfilling mentally and financially, and accrued enough to live what some might consider comfortably.
Then, due to no fault of my own, it stopped.
The whole world stopped.
Like some sick Wellesian wireless hoax, the radio and television were filled with reports of this big mortgage company here, that big financier there caught elbow-deep in the cookie jar. This, incidentally, isn't an article about being angry, or placing blame. I'm far too uneducated on the facts to be able to do that tactfully and correctly. This is merely my observation on what has happened, and how I have learned to deal with it. What I can say, however, is that it is a situation seeded by fraud, deceit, and greed. If I have learned anything from my life that had been so full of deceit and untruthfulness in the past, it is simply that it doesn't pay. Wow, what a horrible pun. I shan't do that again. Maybe just a few more times. Anyway. How does the cliché go? High risk reaps big reward? What I saw happening, whether right or wrong, is that the investors who know best, whether right or wrong, swung for the fences. That is, after all, what they are paid to do, and paid dearly. And it worked. The high risk gambling was indeed raking in the big bucks, they were swimming in gold coins like Scrooge McDuck. Surely all would stay at the status quo (my, how the status as risen over the years, and so quickly!). Like I said, that's what they-who-know-money are paid to do, and paid to know.
Except, they gambled with other people's money, other people's livelihoods. I can't my personal experience with this is terribly involved, beyond my 401K. I neither made enough, nor knew enough about the money to get rich quick through radical investment. For some, however, this was everything they had. Multiply this, god knows how many times, and you have the stirrings of a Recession (capitalized for no other reason than to identify the situation we sit in in the very early 21st century) circa 2007. In the quick span of a year and a half, it has all gone downhill financially and we, the people, are the metaphorical stones rolling and gathering no clichés along the way. I sit here, now, in front of my beloved iMac, unemployed, deeply unhappy, unthinkably bored, and struggling to think what I can do to pass the time, aside from the incessant job hunt that gets so very old so very fast, that doesn't involve using five tanks of gas and cost $30 to get into. Stir crazy, I think some call it. And it's not entirely pleasant, nor unpleasant. A living, real purgatory. Neither dead, nor alive.
Of course, with my new-found time, I have done a bit of what I otherwise thought I wouldn't be able to do. I've started a garden, learning a bit here and there on how to keep things alive that ought to be kept alive. I've read many, many, many more books than I had in the previous... well, ever, an activity I really do enjoy. Had this been my childhood, I dare say it would have been most enjoyable, but alas, that time has passed, and I have "grown up" (for lack of a better term) things to deal with. Well, pants to that.
Those who know me know that I usually have a (rather forced) calm, seemingly uncaring demeanor. I need this to stay sane. However, when I get worked up, stressed out, or otherwise frazzled, it's usually not pretty. I don't deal well. Not at all. Well, enter the Recession. The bomb has dropped, and there's nothing I nor anyone else can do to reverse it. It has happened, and we are living it. I often wonder if the next generation, and the one after that, will look back at this and speak of it with the revery that my generation (those that care anyway) who look back on the Great Depression era does. I hope so. I'd like to think I'm living in a moment of history worth mentioning again. After all, nobody really talks about the events that happened in 1813, or 1952. Will 2009 be significant? Will it be remembered more than just for the Penguins upsetting the crotchety old Red Wings, or England getting embarrassed by the Windies? I hope so.
What happens in our world starting tomorrow happens as a result of today. There is much bitching and moaning about whether history's first black American president is doing the right thing with this economy. The fact is, nobody will no for sure until it's all said and done, and those who claim to know for sure are either fools or liars (a quote stolen about knowing what happens after death, but apropos to this writing). You take what you know, make a bet, and you hope it works out. Like I said earlier, I don't know enough about it to really say whether it is really right or really wrong, only that whatever happens, we will be dealing with it when it gets here. Even if the economy goes to complete shit, this, at the very least, will have been one hell of a ride. I didn't mean to turn this into a present-past-and-future-tense history lesson. I really didn't. I have also strayed from the path of the Recession's effect on me, and deeply apologize.
As I write this, I am in officially month 2 of my unemployment. Hardly a scratch, one might argue, "You have nothing to complain about, there are people out there who haven't worked in a year!" True as that may be, their blight makes no difference on my life. I feel for them, I really do, but it doesn't change my situation in the least. In this time, I have met the boatman Charon, and crossed the river Styx into my personal hell. This won't mean much to the rest of you, but I've had it bad. There's nothing worse in my world than isolation and boredom, and I've had copious amounts of both. Mind you, I've injected myself with little sparks of intellectual stimulation, but on the whole, it's been degenerative. Like my physical self, the Joyceian inwit has struggled to find exercise. And therein lies what the Recession is for me. I can't, of course, assume that I am unique in this, and to those like me, I am truly sorry.
But, and this is a big, rotund but, I am reminded of a rather small video interview of Stephen Fry in which he is asked about the detriment of feeling sorry for oneself to which he answers, and I like this a lot, that there ought to be a self-help book on finding happiness in which the first page would read simply "Quit feeling sorry for yourself, and you will be happy" and the rest of the pages are blank, open for the owner to write whatever and doodle. I think this is great. Really great. A bit of philosophy I can look at to pick myself up and keep going. It's not necessarily that I feel sorry for myself, but rather, I don't know what to do. The emotions, in my mind, are similar. You see, some people were born wanting to be a doctor, an astronaut, an actor, and so on. I was born without such foresight. I see things how they are, not a moment ahead. I always have. It comes across as lack of ambition, and I've been told as such, and try as I might, I just don't see what I want to be, if there is such a thing as being, in my life. This frustration is another story for another day, however. The impact of the Recession is that this aspect of my otherwise squalid life is that the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness are compounded. That the only reason to take another step forward is to see what happens next.
God, how I wish life were a movie.
So there you have it. A rambling account on how the Recession has hit a middle-class individual, living in middle-class suburbia, with middle-class mentality. The picture painted may be more or less dreary than reality, but what is a tale without a bit of hyperbole, yes? If I could choose, I would be a Wodehousian character without a care in the world, living off allowances from uncles, wearing waistcoats and hats, and crazed aunts trying to marry me off. That would be the life. I may not have that, but in these tough times, it does only good to dream.

Yes, indeed, they keep going
The ceiling’s the thing that explodes the conscience of the i before e ‘cept after c
Heard about this on NPR, but some primary schools are now being told not to teach the old addage 'i before e, except after c' because, well, looking at our list of commonly used words, there seem to be quite a few exceptions. Exceptions that prove that maybe there are more exceptions than those that follow the rule. Science, heinous, freight, eight, foreigner, all words that dare to not follow. Seems pedantic, but really, if we are to explode the world of mundane ignorance, may as well start here in teaching younglings not necessarily what we learned in elementary school, but what we have discovered to be more correct over time - even if it's just because of a change in convention.
Tangentially, I think kids are still being taught that splitting an earthworm in twain results in two living, squirming earthworms; when in reality, all that happens is that there are two pieces of dead earthworm on either side of the spade. Another such example being that the Richter scale is no longer used for measuring earthquakes. And so on and so forth. Maybe this only entertains those of us fascinated by random niblets of knowledge, and may annoy the absolute hell out of those who don't care for any of it, but what's wrong with knowing? What's wrong with knowing what's correct? It isn't elitist at all, really.
Think about it, isn't it a parent's goal for their progeny to be slightly better, slightly smarter, slightly richer, slightly.... more... than they are? I've always thought the i-before-e rule to be silly because of all the obvious exceptions, yet we were always taught it in any English class from the fourth grade on, when we were expected to start spelling correctly. Finally, the truth will out, and finally we can move on as a people.
So, go forth, and use thee no more wives' tales as truth, and always looking forward, forward, forward into the face of future, and remember that there are now only EIGHT planets going around the little star we call Sol. Who knows, you may find yourself doing well on Jeopardy one day.




